Download. Distil. Dream.

Download

Take a nice deep breath in… and let it out… and out… and out…

Now, bring a troubling issue to mind. An issue you’d like to soothe. On paper, take as long as you like to download all the worst thoughts you can imagine thinking on this topic. Exaggerate. Make mountains out of molehills. Be dramatic and complaining and judgemental and worse. If you like, imagine someone else writing the rant. Someone who rages and complains with style!

We are not trying to be honest or fair. No balance. No tempering. The download is like opening a valve to let toxic thoughts out. That’s all. No one is going to read it. You can destroy it later if you’d like. Be as extreme as you can. Swear if you want.

That’s it. Pour your thoughts onto the page in a random flood. All the negativity you can muster, spilling out freely. Good. Allow all that negativity out. Thoughts are valid and have their reason for being there, but you can choose different thoughts if you like. These thoughts are not who you are. But they have been taking up your airspace. Time to let them all go.

If you like, pause this recording now to give yourself more time.

Distil

Now, make a simple list of the emotions underneath your downloaded thoughts. You may have already mentioned some. Focus specifically on distilling those thoughts into the feelings they create. Take your time. Check for emotions you might not like to acknowledge. Is there anger? Fear? Hopelessness? Resentment? Envy? You may feel bad about feeling bad! Shame or guilt can hold other negative emotions in place as we scold ourselves for having them!

It’s ok. You don’t need to let the emotions take you over. Just name them and write them down. Naming them allows you to step away from the storyline. The thoughts that create the emotions will release their hold on you as you name those emotions.

If you need more time, pause the recording here.

Dream

Now, take a nice deep breath in… and let it out and out and out. Take another nice breath and stretch the out breath as long as you like. Allow yourself a moment to settle as you soften the focus of your eyes. That’s it. Now. Time to turn our attention to the way you’d really like to feel.

For each emotion on your distilled list, now write the opposite or better emotion. Don’t put pressure on yourself to feel them. Just list them, like an exercise in logic. Or a shopping trip to an emotion boutique! That’s it. Simply list the opposite states. Sadness might become joy, or contentment or delight. Worry becomes confidence and so on.

Read your list back and add anything to the list that you’d like to imagine feeling, if you could.

Now, gently and easily, write a few sentences for each of these states, turning your attention to how much you like each one, when you do feel that way. Keep the focus soft and relaxed. Don’t force it. If you feel the emotions are a long way off, that’s ok, simply allow yourself to acknowledge how much you’d love to be able to feel that way.

You might start with phrases like: I really like the feeling of… I love feeling… I love the idea of… Wouldn’t it be nice to feel… It would be so good to feel… I love it when I do feel… This is such a nice feeling because… The thing I love about this feeling is… I feel like this most easily when…

Take as much time as you can for this part… it’s the best bit! It should feel relaxed and easy and light. No pressure to feel anything other than focused on the simple task of writing about it. Enjoy feeling focused. Calm. Capable. You don’t have to make anything happen. All you are doing is writing, in theory, about what you’d like to have happen.

Keep going until you feel satisfied that you’ve got all you want from the exercise. Pause the recording here if you’d like more time.

Now, go and do something totally unrelated. Preferably something simple and practical and satisfying. Make a cup of tea or read a good book. Most importantly, leave the issue alone as you move into focusing on unrelated subjects.

If you have found this exercise helpful, if you are feeling some relief, do it again whenever you want. It’s a great way to soothe yourself in between situations that trigger you. The more often you practise it, the easier the situations and issues will become. As you empower yourself to feel better anyway, you will navigate challenge with ever-increasing confidence.

Good job!