Keeping my head above water was all I’d ever known. I hadn’t realised there could be so much more to life…
I was somewhat overawed by the giant of a man sitting next to me at the wedding table. Evidently, he had lived an awesome life, in the deepest sense of the word.
Normally a fish out of water on social occasions, I was fortunate to have such a talkative table-mate. My gratitude for his willingness to fill the silence turned swiftly to captivation as the man’s stories poured out around our melon-sorbet starters and halloumi fillet mains.
He spoke with passion about the two women to whom he had given his heart. He spoke about the company he had fashioned, Zeus-like, out of the clay of his youth. He told of its subsequent collapse and of rebuilding from the rubble.
He described in detail the family he has sired and clearly dotes upon… His pale eyes filled up as he spoke of each child and grandchild in turn. His tenderness was beautiful to behold.
And then the dreaded moment came.
As summer fruits arrived for dessert, his blissful narration stopped.
He asked, ‘So, what have you done with your life?’
Ouch.
Jeezy creezy. How could I say, ‘I’ve survived it. That’s about as far as it goes’?
After a moment of absolute panic, I started to mumble on about something career-related to fill the void as best I might for a while but the question really hit home. Four decades and more I’d been on the planet. How tragic to look back on all that life and just think, ‘I’m surviving!’