Loose watercolour - ‘A Galaxy of Leaves’ - Image by the author
Where do you hang out?
Today’s been tough. Emotions all over the show. I found myself envying the Queen her letting go of all of life’s struggles recently…
Yes, a tougher day today than of late.
But one thought runs like a lifeline through it.
“Come to the infinite dimension.”
From a dismal beginnings it’s become like spending a day with The Ancient One! (Ninja mystic monk-sorceress in Marvel’s Dr Strange.) Beaten up regularly but always restored. Life being ruthless, yet kind…
The day had started well enough, but it doesn’t take much these days to throw me off the ‘life-is-good’ basket.
Before long I was sprawled out on the grass beneath the bid-feeder in my mind, sitting in soggy-faced woe once again…
I’d over-reached. Gone all out to feel for the place where my desires are already in form. It had felt good for a little while. I’d imagined the health, the wealth, the confident creating… It was wonderful, for a little while.
And then, the inevitable tumble from dizzy heights…
Come to the infinite dimension
The infinite dimension — it seemed to invite me as I brought my woeful self to meditation.
Ok, I admit it, I’m Dr Strange-obsessed… If you’re a Marvel fan, you’ll hear echoes of the mirror dimension here. A place unaffected by the physical but absolutely aware…
Today’s meditation, though, was different from those of the months before it. There was a sense of taking on new reality.
I didn’t make it up. I didn’t force it to happen. I didn’t even ‘imagine’ it. Something in my awareness addressed me.
It stood calmly, spread a dimension, like a prayer mat, in front of me and said, ‘Come’.
When I say, ‘it’ I mean, what? A calm sort of voice in my head… A quiet, compelling inner bidding? I can’t really give better words to it than that.
I’d long succumbed to the ‘coach yourself’ practice. When I do it, routinely, it’s transformative.
When I don’t, my day’s a mush.
I converse with imagined teachers and loved ones: to the idea of pure, positive energy that is my husband, to my best estimation of All That Is —Unconditional Love.
Today, I’d slipped so fast from smiling to misery, I can’t pinpoint how, exactly…
So I’d written to my crew, The Imagined Ones…
You feel so… thin. You’re all I’ve got in this moment. But you’re so unsubstantial. I’m making you up f’r crying out loud!
I should be doing stuff. I don’t want to do a thing. I don’t know why I’m all weepy right now, after doing so much better lately.
I’m tired of having to struggle like this… I give up! Again…
What ‘they’ wrote back was simple enough:
Good. Giving up is good. Feel the relief in giving up? That’s it. That’s all. Let go. Seek relief. That’s all.
Pen down. Tears a-dripping, I closed my eyes.
I give up. Game over. I’m done.
In the quiet space of surrender, a calm voice (one of my practised imagining) talked me round.
It sounded something like this…
“You’re too focused in the physical to really enjoy it. It matters too much. Your five senses have all your attention.
You’re still downplaying the most important sense you have — after your emotions — your imagination.
There are two realities. You know this.
There is the physical five-sensed reality. Yes.
And there is the non-physical reality. The realm of thoughts, inspirations, ideas…
You can think of it like the finite dimension — of what can be seen, heard, smelt, touched, tasted — energy in particle form if you like…
And the infinite dimension — where all thought, all imaginable energy and more in wave-form exists.
Your imagination bridges you into the infinite.
It’s not ‘make-believe’. It’s attunement.
You reach for the non-physical realm. You know you’re at Home there. But you’re not quite sure of its reality. You’re still worrying that it’s a figment of fancy.”
The quiet voice stopped for a moment.
Its invitation and the following of it inside my mind felt as distinct as stepping into a different room.
An infinite space.
Where storyline doesn’t exist.
Absolute stillness.
Silence.
Relief.
Relief as solid as… as solid as my sofa.
Soft as it is, my sofa, it’s solidly bearing my weight. Soft but solid — it’s real.
So is the infinite dimension. This other room I’ve popped into and out of all day…
Too much perhaps?
Ok. I know I’m probably sounding WAY too ‘out there’ right now! I know, I know…
But get this… I popped back to the finite for a bit, to read some more of Thich Nhat Hanh’s ‘No Death, No Fear’.
The first page I turned to said this:
“The historical (finite) dimension and the ultimate (infinite) dimension of reality are related to each other. If you can deeply touch one, you can touch the other…
“There is the historical Buddha but there is also the Buddha who is not limited by space and time. We are all like that. We have a historical dimension, which we live every day, but we also have an ultimate dimension, which we try to live using our spiritual practice.
“If we can live in the ultimate dimension at the same time as we function in the historical, we will have no more fear. When there is no more fear, there is true happiness.”
Now, that’s spooky…
Almost as spooky as the weeks of premonitions I had about my car exploding before it nearly blew a gasket (on my birthday, wouldn’t you know!)
Or the one I had about someone running into the back of me, 15 minutes before someone… ran into the back of me. Hmmm.
There’s more to this life malarky than the knock on wood ‘reality’ we all agree upon.
More from the infinite…
The infinite dimension continued to expand in my awareness over the next few days.
I found myself hanging out there a while, a few times in the day, enjoying the absence of storyline. It is such a relief to release past, future and even present ‘me’, to dissolve in the infinite awhile.
A new shade of understanding appeared… A strong awareness.
All finite comes from the infinite.
A sense of the infinite flowing into the finite. The finite waves emerging from the body of the sea… Everything I want or need, flows into the physical realm from this infinite ocean of energy.
It makes sense to spend some time here, doesn’t it?
Connecting with the true source of all that is… not a bad investment surely? The suggestion padded in on soft paws between short spells spent in the infinite.
And then further hints…
In the infinite there is no need, no lack. There is only wholeness. There is no vulnerability, no risk. No harm can occur. The finite, from this perspective is simply a passing phase…An adventure for the exploring.
From the infinite, no harm can come to the core of our being. This may sound a heck of a stretch when in the heart of our suffering.
But reading the words of those who’ve found joy in the concentration camps, we know there is truth here.
“I’ve never stopped choosing love and hope. For me, the ability to choose, even in the midst of so much suffering and powerlessness, is the true gift that came out of my time in Auschwitz … We all have this capacity to choose. When nothing helpful or nourishing is coming from the outside, that is precisely the moment when we have the possibility to discover who we really are by looking inward. It’s not what happens to us that matters most, it’s what we do with our experiences.” — Edith Eger
Here in the heart of our suffering, we “…discover who we really are…”
Infinite being — remaining forever in the realms of the non physical — has oft seemed a better option to me, considering it from the misery of the physical. The question, on loop, repeats… Why would we choose this place of pain? (I need to believe that we choose this life — the alternative seems too terrible.)
Here, in the infinite, the answer is obvious.
The infinite alone would be… easy, yes, but dull! No discernible contrast? No desires to fulfil? No point in stretching or reaching for more? It’s not enough. And I know it.
Which brings me back to my finite reality and the enjoyment of same.
The emotions that wash through day after day when I’m in a low phase, they are still challenging, yes.
But I have the option to rest up in that other world a little more easily now.
As Law of Attraction adds more unto… a dear friend sent me a link to a beautiful Mooji clip taking me deeper.
I so recommend this video for its simple, down to Earth introduction to the infinite dimension. Access for all.
Nothing weird. Nothing hard. Nothing strange about it.
Just awareness.
To practise this awareness before the tsunami hits — before the death of a loved one, before loss of health or wealth or whatever — now there’s a worthwhile endeavour.
Having said that, it’s funny how often it takes the flipping tsunami to make us do the work! It sure did with me…
Sending love to you Dear One, and encouraging you on your quest for a little more joy, and then a little more.
P.S. If you are finding life difficult, if you’d like to smile more, book in for a chat. Grab a cuppa and let’s explore the thoughts that will allow you more ease. A little connection goes a long, long way…